>Green and Unattractive

>You shouldn’t be jealous of others. Period. Everybody has their own life and cards that they were dealt. Everybody goes through things. Everybody has an uneven distribution of “fortune” vs. “misfortune.” We all vary in our strengths and weaknesses. We all look different and have varying personalities. Some of us have few friends. Others have many. Some of us are tall. Others are short. It doesn’t matter what the person next to you is doing. Look in the mirror and be your fiercest competitor. Stand for righteousness, and you will know you are nothing anyway. Live your life worthy of your calling, and you won’t be bothered about the next man or woman. Jealousy and all his best friends try to distract you. Jealousy wants you – do not give in.

We all know to avoid jealousy. But do you know how to help others not be jealous of you? Do you consider that your actions and words can make it difficult for other people? I am not suggesting walking on eggshells – hardly – I am suggesting that your inner core should be after uplifting others. Some people will be jealous of you regardless – but you better do your part in not taking the seat of honor, not putting yourself ahead of others, and not saying things that put you in the forefront. There are too many people in this world that do this. You need to decide if you want to be like most people, or if you want to have an impact on people in a profound way. We have to find security – and we have to live our life based on this security. You cannot be happy by having “one-up” on your neighbor. This will make you “two-down” on the next “better” person that comes along.

Now that we have dealt with elementary things pertaining to jealousy, let’s go a bit deeper….

There is a type of passive power struggle that people practice with one another that most people would gloss over – not if you are endangered. Most “mature” people are above the elementary forms of being insecure, or wanting people to be jealous of them. I think it is safe to say that the majority of people who are serious about their lives are not obvious about wanting to have the upper hand, or being the subject of another person’s jealousy. However, there are ways that the green-eyed monster can show its face in subtle ways – and sometimes more harmful ways.

Human beings can be quite the bunch can’t we? When we are married, we like to show our spouses in a very gentle way, that other members of the opposite sex are still interested in us – perhaps not by coming out and saying it blatantly, but in more softer ways – maybe when we hint about “so and so” and what they said about us. We like to complement other people in a way that makes our partner feel just a tinge of “less than.” In friendships, we don’t mind talking freely about what we have accomplished and how we were recognized. The worst part is when we start having internal monologues and visions about how people will one day credit us for so much – and how we were the cause for so much good in our worlds! We don’t mind when good things we did (in secret) are exposed. We don’t mind it because we get earthly credit for it, and it feels rather good doesn’t it? I mean afterall, the credit and affirmation from an invisible God is just not enough all the time. Sometimes we need it from our peers – sometimes we need to feel appreciated – right?

They strange thing about wanting others to feel envious of you, is that your intention is to want more security with that other person. Your intention is to feel more firm in that relationship. When boyfriends make their girlfriends jealous, it is almost a complement to that girl. The boy is really saying that he is insecure that you are even with him – therefore, he feels the need to make you jealous so that you want him even more. Friends, let us keep this in mind. I would suggest to you that even the slightest desire and action in making someone feel “less than,” or a tad bit insecure about your relation to them is more toxic to you than it is to the other person. The more you do this, the more you are sowing seeds into your future. The less you are able to let things happen naturally, the more you will become unnatural – artificial – and intolerable by others. The more you want your boyfriend to know that he has a “catch” in you, the more he will be inclined to leave. The more you want security with others, the more insecure you will become.

There is a cure for such insecurity. There is a cure for such jealousy. He is waiting to give you a place. He is waiting to give you His love. He is waiting to give you a future. With this much goodness and perfect love, say goodbye to green eyes. Peace, and much love to you – John Baptist!

One Response

  1. Sunitha

    >seriously. are you reading my mind lately? fantastic post.